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Preparing for the Holidays After a Divorce

Many of us often face a lot of pressure to have a perfect holiday season. After all, this is the most wonderful time of the year. If you recently got a divorce, societal pressures might feel even heavier, and you might feel compelled to show a brave face and prove how strong you are. However, instead of focusing on how others perceive you, you should focus on caring for yourself and helping your children smoothly navigate this uncharted territory. The less you fixate on achieving perfection, the better your chances will be of enjoying the holidays.

‘Tis the Season

There are many steps you can take to prepare for the holiday season. The first and most important one you should take involves reviewing your holiday visitation schedule, which supersedes your normal visitation schedule. The last thing you want to do is plan an activity with your children during your co-parent’s holiday visitation time.

After reviewing your holiday visitation schedule, if there is a day you wish to spend with the children and it clashes with the schedule, ask your co-parent if he or she is willing to swap. If your co-parent refuses, do not continue to press the matter. It does not hurt to ask for adjustments, but it will cause problems if you insist on these last-minute accommodations to your wishes.

Here are some other tips you should consider this holiday season:

  • Be realistic: Your life just underwent some major changes, so do not hold yourself to unreasonably high expectations. Everything from who you spend your time with during the holidays to your financial situation will look substantially different compared to previous years. That is normal! It does not mean you cannot embrace the holiday spirit or enjoy the season. Forget about being perfect and focus on being happy.
  • Do not cling to the past: Change is scary and stressful, so you might feel tempted to keep old traditions despite the profound changes you recently experienced. Unfortunately, this will not help you move on, nor will it help your children accept that your marriage is over. Do not let the ghosts of Christmas past haunt you during the holidays. Create some new traditions with the kids that will lift their spirits and assist with the healing process.
  • Make yourself happy: If your children are not with you for the holidays, you can still have a blast. Your happiness is not contingent on which parent they are with, so keep that in mind and explore what makes you happy, even if all you have time for is a glass of red wine by the fireplace or an evening at the movie theater.
  • Collaborate on presents: Instead of trying to one-up each other through gift-giving, collaborate with your co-parent on which gifts are appropriate for the kids. It might feel good to lavish them with a wildly expensive gift, especially if you feel guilty about the divorce and want to make it up to them, but this is not the way to do it. Set a budget and make sure your gifts are age-appropriate.

Discuss Your Family Law Case with a Knowledgeable Attorney Today!

The holidays are a tumultuous time for many, and you might not be able to navigate its challenges without legal assistance. If you run into any legal obstacles, reach out to the experienced family law team at The Law Office of Jerome P. Ventura for the exceptional legal advice and guidance you need to get through it.

Contactour law office today at (954) 280-6119 to set up a consultation.

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